Besting the Dragon
by Dark Irony
Summary: When Duo annoys Wufei once to often, it results in a combat challenge. To beat him, Duo gets help from a very unexepcted source.


Summary: When Duo pisses Wufei off, the dragon heir challenges him to a duel in three months. Where will Duo learn the skills to beat Wufei at his own game?

Author's notes: This one came to me when I was at my fitness club. I know, corny place to come up with a story, but hey, it works! Anyway, I was at this martial art, boxing class (actually, it's pretty cool. It combines karate, kung fu, boxing and Tie Kwan Do. sp? ) and I thought, hey, wouldn't it be cool if Duo beat Wufei at his own thing? And if Wufei got one of those nose bleeds when he finds out where they were trained. And, I don't like it that Wufei is the only one in the group that is single, so guess who the instructor is? Anyway, it has come to my attention that 49 people have read my stuff, and only two people have reviewed. Reviews are what keep authors going, guys. Even if it's only a 'Great story! Loved the part where…' or 'Can you clarify…' or even 'I think you could have done this part a little differently…' Authors love constructive criticism. I love writing, but I know my paragraph structure isn't great and that my transitions are sloppy. Alternate wordings that you think work better are great. And giving me ideas to write a story with are better… How about I'll write a story for the fiftieth person who reviews? And I'll post it. And you get to give me the beginning. SO, on with the story!

Besting Wufei

By Dark Irony.

Wufei stormed into the safe house. "I-GIVE-UP!" he growled as he passed a shocked trio of Gundam pilots. He glared at Heero, "Your boyfriend would drive a saint mad!"

Duo popped through the doorway, "Err, Wuffers? Are you by any chance talking about the superglu-"

"STOP!" Wufei roared. He glared at Heero "When he heard that he was going to be getting more hand to hand combat lessons from me, he decided the best way to do some advance studying was to watch all the karate kid movies. Then he went into a Jackie Chan phase and---" He babbled on and on, sounding like he was delusional. When he was finished, his hair had fallen out of his ponytail and onto his flushed cheeks, his pupils dilated to the point his eyes looked black and his entire body trembling.

Duo, being Duo, saw this and made the inevitable comment. "Hey! Fei man looks like he just got laid!"

Wufei /eye twitched/ and turned to look at him. "Alright. I've had enough. Bian si, in three months, you will battle me, and if I win, you may never annoy me again."

Duo grinned secretly as he nodded. "Of course."

Quatre, who guessed what he was at, groaned and buried his head in his hands.

Later, when Duo was alone, Quatre came up to his room. "Duo, do you really think this is a good idea? I mean, he is one of the best in the world."

Duo smiled smugly, "Of course. You coming tomorrow?"

Quatre sighed and nodded. "Yes, if only to keep you out of trouble!"

xXxXx

Next morning, Duo and Quatre left the safe house. Wufei scowled at the door they had just left through. "Battling with Winner won't improve Maxwell's skills. He is already better then him at hand to hand." Heero stirred his cup of morning sludge, known as horseshoe coffee. "Do either of you know what's in the duffel bags?"

xXxXx

Duo pulled up in front of the building. "You ready, Quatre?" He laughed, well, giggled, when he saw what Quatre was doing. "Don't worry. Your disguise is perfect."

Quatre, with mascara, lipstick and the latest female styles, was fidgeting uncomfortably. "Duo I really don't know-"

Duo shrugged him off. "This is the only place I know that does the kind of rigorous training that I want. Good thing we look realistic in drag."

Quatre sighed. "I know. But why does one of the best combat instructors in the world have to work in a women's only fitness club, I don't know."

Duo fluttered his eyelashes at Quatre. "That's why it's good that we look realistic in drag. Come on, Quat, let's go in."

As the two of them walked in, a perky morning person version of platinum blonde Barbie bounced over. "HI! How can I help you two ladies?"

Duo gave her a friendly smile, while thinking /turn off the shine/. "We'd like to signup for a three month membership, if possible."

"Of course! What are your names?" she asked brightly./Relena on steroids/Duo tried hard not to laugh. "Um, my name's D. Martin."

"Dee? Is that with two es?" The girl's name tag said her name was LiuLiu Lemon.

"Yes, err, LiuLiu…" Duo was trying hard not to have a convulsive laughing fit.

"And you?" She turned her gaze to the next poor soul.

"Quaterine Roberts."

"Is that with a Ka or a Ca?"

"Neither. Q-u-a-t-e-r-i-n-e."

"Oh, what unusual spelling," LiuLiu handed them both little membership cards. "Here you go!"

Duo nodded in thanks. "Say, can you tell us when Meiran's next class is?"

"Oh, in about ten minutes. You can go get changed in the change room over there," she pointed at a door just down the hall. "There are some extra uniforms in there if you need them."

"No, we brought our own, but thank you."

As they walked down the hall, Duo started giggling. "California Relena on steroids."

Quatre started giggling as well. "So true."

After they had gotten changed, they went into the training room. The teacher, Meiran, was walking around, introducing herself to all the new ladies in the class and explaining the rules and regulations. She came over to them. "Hello, ladies. What are your names?"

Duo smiled, "I'm Dee and that is Quat."

Meiran nodded. "Do either of you have any martial arts training?"

Quatre gave her a tight smile. "Would you consider a homicidally anal retentive friend who's determined to stuff all that he possibly can down our throats about the martial arts, training?"

"Err, what level is he?" /God, I hope have to undo any bad habits./

"Red star." /never mind/ Duo continued. "I pissed him off, so he challenged me to a duel in three months yesterday."

Quatre smiled "Yes, Dee is actually stupid enough to except a challenge from Chang Wufei." He realized what he'd said. "Oh, Allah."

Meiran had an odd look on her face. How about I train the two of you after class and for some extra hours as long as I can come and watch the competition afterwards."

Duo nodded "That sounds great. Wuffers will have to watch out now."

xXxXx

_**Two days before showdown….**_

"All right, you sissy wimps! You're slacking off on me. I guess I'll stop training you." Meiran yelled at the two of them.

Duo winced "Sorry, Meiran. I just hurt myself the other day and-"he stopped abruptly when Meiran pushed him onto his back. "Where does it hurt?"

Duo rolled his shoulder "Here."

Meiran clapped her hands together and started rubbing them. After 30 seconds, she slammed her hands into his injured shoulder joint.

"OWWW! That…doesn't hurt." Duo grinned. "So the move Mr. Miagui pulled in Karate kid was real!"

Meiran rolled her eyes. "Idiot," she got up. "You two have accomplished so much in the last three months. You've learned what took me years. There is only one other thing I can teach you. Wufei, unless he has changed dramatically since I last saw him, is unable to do this move." She beckoned the two of them closer. After she had explained, Duo was wide eyed with amazement. "That is brilliant!"

So they practiced THE MOVE!

After the practice, Duo went over to Meiran. "Hey, I better give you the directions to where we'll be fighting." He hesitated for a moment. "Meiran, I should tell you…"

"That you and Quat are really boys whose names are Duo and Quatre? Don't worry, I already know."

Duo looked at her for a minute, and then smiled. "Well, that clears that up. See you tomorrow."

xXxXx

The early morning fog rolled back from the old school field. Two combatants stood on either ends of the field, their breath fogging in front of them. Heero, Trowa and Quatre stood on the sidelines. Quatre sighed "Wufei wouldn't consider giving me an early birthday present by not fighting Duo, would he?"

Heero shook his head. "No. Duo impinged his honor. They must fight." He looked down at Quatre "Chang won't hurt Duo, Winner."

Quatre muttered. "I'm more worried about Duo hurting Wufei."

Before Heero could raise more than an eyebrow, the fight began. Soon, all that could be seen was a whirling tornado of whirling limbs and dodging heads. After a while, Quatre winced. "Oh, here comes what I was worried about."

Duo dodged one of Wufei's roundhouse kicks, and did a little shift in his body. His braid came flying up and hit Wufei square in the forehead. He went down like a ton of bricks. Heero nodded at Quatre "I see know what you mean."

Wufei was picking himself off of the ground, eyes blazing. "That's cheating. Where is your honor?"

Duo shrugged "Ask my teacher…" he pointed at a cloaked figure at the side of the field who hadn't been there before.

Wufei walked over to the hooded instructor. "What do you mean by teaching my friend such a dishonorable move?" He ranted on and on, his face flushing and his eyes dilating. (Déjà vu?)

Meiran pushed back her hood. "Wufei, has anyone ever told you look like just got laid when you're annoyed?"

Wufei's jaw dropped "Meiran? My Meiran?"

Duo looked at Quatre with astonished eyes. "Did you know she was that Meiran?"

Quatre shook his head, his eyes wide.

Wufei looked her up and down. "Where were you? I thought you were dead."

Meiran shook her head. "Nope. Cryogenics."

Wufei, stoic, controlled Wufei, and then kissed her, while Duo provided all the stadium spectator noises, and Quatre's eyes filled up with tears.

That evening, when everyone was sitting around the table, Wufei looked at Duo. "So, where did you go to learn from Meiran?"

Duo winked at Meiran, who started giggling. "A women's fitness club. Where else?"

Wufei got a nose bleed.

xXxXx

Ok, so what did you think? Moonlit eyes, if you are reading this, I am writing the one we sorta talked about, but it's going slowly. But I won't post anything else unless I get five reviews. So, if you enjoyed it tell me.

-Wufei glares at author- "Stupid Woman"

Authour and Meiran both start hitting on the head.


End file.
